I guess it is not surprising, in the wake of so much earth intensity and personal growth, that a hard moment would enter the mix. As part of what started out as a fairly innocuous conversation the other day, some of my family's demons rose to the surface, and I have had -- at the very least -- to acknowledge their continuing potential to cause me pain.
This isn't something I could illustrate with art, photography, or music (even if I had pulled all those strings together already) so all I will do today is express again the message I received early in this lifetime and often: you are not worthy of our attention, financial support, or love. Period. Full stop. Yes, I was fed and housed through high school, attended private school and college, and seemed to benefit from the 1960's Capital District infrastructure that I currently see around me in its 21st century iteration. On the surface, it was a good American start in the world. But way deep down, there was no "there" there in this little nuclear family. There was no actual top-down Love, and the person who could be blamed for everything was not only blamed, but deep-sixed. The person with probably the greatest ability to love was ostracized. I mean, this first happened on my "birth day", and then over and over from then on, and the psychic pain is immeasurable. I keep thinking that I've done as much healing work as I can, but clearly I have not.
What is so traumatizing about our current time is seeing the very same impulse playing out on the larger stage. Perhaps it was "the human condition" of the previous paradigm to leave unwanted people in the psychic wilderness or kill them off. But that sorry paradigm is coming to a rapid close. The Age of Aquarius has started. The Goddess is in the ascendant, and such activities will rapidly become obsolete. In the future, we will never do such things to our children, any of our children.
This is the moment for some of us to address past trauma and pain, and make a final push to heal. Wounds may be manifesting as physical pain, emotional pain, or a combination of the two, and obviously some measure of active healing cannot hurt. But I also think we are going through the portal into an era where, literally, a lifetime of slights can no longer hurt us. If, in the past, other people chose to operate from a place of non-Love, their choices can no longer hurt us. By next year, 2026, it will be time to move forward without the heavy load of past grief. It is time to completely let go.
I know how important I am. This is not ego, or narcissism, or power-hungriness, it is simply understanding that when you are a facet of the great Goddess, you cannot possibly be "unimportant" or "unworthy". It is time for all of us to start resonating with new words like "worthy", "extraordinary" and "brilliant". And it is time to see what life is like when it reverberates those energies back to us!
