The Beginning

I wrote this post yesterday and am putting it out there today. I have heard the latest news, just so you know, but I'm leaving this "as is":

Kind of hard to say an unqualified "Happy New Year" today, although ultimately I think much about this year will lead to a happier world...eventually.

It may seem like a strange thing for me to do, but I can't help but look back. Many years ago, I started to sense that the 2020's would signify crucial changes for the world. I had no professional basis for this -- I am not an astrologer, or (more than an amateur) historian, or a serious oracle card reader, or a serious futurist. I just had the intuition that the Divine Feminine was already on the ascent, and that this energy would be a poor fit for most of our institutions and contemporary expectations. When the year 2020 itself rolled around (even before the pandemic), I knew that if nothing else, it would be a decade of clarity -- as in, 20/20 vision. And has it ever been!

Now we are over halfway through the decade, and I think this year the clarity will become starker than ever. We will see the difference between Love and not-Love so very clearly, there will no longer be any lingering indecision (no more of that wobbly, "Maybe this is a figment of my imagination!") Those of us capable of Love will more consistently trust our gut feelings, and see things for what they are. Aligning with Love will gradually become easier, because we see more and more people doing it, and because we are beginning to see and sense more Love around us, under the roiling surface of Love's opposite. 

What is this "the beginning" of? More clarity, more Love, more compassion, more beauty, more joy, more genuine health, thriving, connectedness with Mother Earth and the whole cosmos. Probably a considerable amount of upheaval as we start to really walk this new path and the old path falls away. Probably a considerable number of miracles as the new energy expands and things "happen" in a new way. Probably (for some) dreams coming true that just couldn't come true in the old paradigm. 

Clearly, as so many are saying, we must focus on these seeds of a new world, not the detritus of the old. Keep breathing through the tumult, tap your heart many times a day, step out into Nature, talk or sing to the birds, any practice that helps you connect with Nature, the Goddess, and genuine Love, in whatever way you conceive of it. Focus on the fact that this is a Beginning. The Beginning.

Outgrowing Me

I am very thankful for the last six days...after quite a quiet stretch, it was a sociable time, with lots of good food and company, and (until today's freezing rain) reasonably good weather to get around in. It was actually more Christmas activity than I have been used to in recent years, always living betwixt and between, and dealing with the pandemic and bad winter weather. So a jolt of festivity was a positive thing for a rather solitary person like me!

Having said that, I am aware that in all my interactions with people over sweets and the rustle of present opening, I never had one discussion about New Age spirituality, the Goddess, England and English church music, the intersection of the above...or anything pertinent to who I really am. I mean, this has been true my whole life, and is certainly the reason for all this wandering. So in the midst of it all the busy-ness and warmth, it was still an experience of being on the outside looking in...

But another layer has emerged, which really hit me hard last night and was very disorienting. An even more acute sense of, I have not only outgrown the whole paradigm that I was in for thirty years (trying to fit into multiple places around the country and find activities to replace my real passions), but I've outgrown what I suppose was the more recent transitional phase of fully embracing the real passions -- exploring them, trying to peel off the layers of resistance to them, and find a few people who speak at least part of my language. There was a "searching" element to this time that has suddenly dropped away. I've outgrown "me" as I might have described myself even a month or two ago, and am in a place of fuller embodiment -- with the extra added sensation of starting to experience these passions through a finer lens, a higher energetic than I am used to. An amusing picture came to me of a large balloon being stuffed into a small shoebox, and popping out over and over again. (When you are somewhat overweight, you can be rather sensitive to this kind of image, but there it is.) I panicked, knowing that most of my old solutions (the ones that I can easily envision) would, indeed, spit me out pretty quickly. And if my path forward contains some person, place or situation that I know from the past, for the first time in my life, it will probably be well nigh impossible to pare myself back down to size to fit in the box. I'm the bigger balloon, and I need a bigger hangar when at rest -- or to fly free! 

Blessings for the last few days of this old year...may you find unexpected joy and insights too!

The Quiet Time

Thanks to the gift of having largely retreated from "the world", this week sandwiching Christmas is truly a quiet time this year. I'm not out, chasing down deals, or trees, or standing in line at an airport. I've written (and sent) cards, I am in the process of making several batches of cookies, and I have pretty much watched as many inspirational videos about this mysterious, liminal time as I can stand. I've listened to a select few pieces of Christmas and Medieval choral music, and attended one solstice concert. I am even feeling slightly less inspired about writing in this blog. The urge to write hasn't gone away -- as I've mentioned, I am up well before dawn handwriting something that I will need to finish before I discern how to proceed. I suppose to a small degree it is draining my creativity just a bit. I won't forget you, dear friends! But the message I am getting is that this other story is a thread I must follow, wherever it leads.

It is not quiet in much of the world. Please know this -- I know that. People who cannot help themselves (and whose channel to Love is completely blocked) are creating Christmastime chaos and pain. Those of us who can align with the powerful peace of the Goddess -- must. Those of us who can make this The Quiet Time -- must. Blessings to anyone out there doing that!  Blessings, too, to the un-quiet. We are all playing our roles in this play, I guess! 

Goddess Words 54: Bells

Bells. There are so many different kinds of bells in this world, but I guess it will come as no surprise to anyone reading this that the kind I love the most, and which I literally and figuratively resonate with, are the change ringing bell sequences at (mostly) English churches and cathedrals. I suppose that just as I can sit riveted in place inside one of those spaces during a choral evensong service (assuming I am not singing!), I can sit or stand riveted in place outside when the bells are ringing. I assume there must be thousands of possible patterns, depending on how many ringers are up in the tower, doing the work. (I gather it is most commonly between four and eight people.) These are not bells playing hymns or other songs. They are the ones playing random, yet beautiful, patterns, and the sound can echo across the countryside. In fact, an English friend of mine once phoned me when his local church bells were ringing, and I sat in ecstasy at my end of the phone, almost 3,500 miles away.

Many years ago, actually around the time that I originally wrote my list of Goddess words, I wrote an essay that ended by saying in effect, "the day that bells around the world ring to celebrate the birth of a girl, I'll know that I'm finally living in my paradigm!" That essay never found a home. I guess it was a little ahead of its time (and not quite focused enough), and I still think the notion seems far-fetched if I imagine the old paradigm doing the bell ringing. But I can imagine the Goddess ringing celebratory bells at the birth of a girl! Perhaps at the birth of all girls!

Many centuries ago, bells were rung as alarms, to alert a populace when it was under attack, or in the case of a fire or other disaster. Nowadays, we have sirens and phone alerts in this situation. Church bells still ring today after services, funerals, or during wedding recessionals. The emotion that even the smallest bells bring up for me is joy -- whether a cat bell, or a cow bell, or a sleigh bell, or a dinner bell.

Why did I add "bell" to my list all those years ago? Why do I think of it as a Goddess word? And why do I present it today? I think it is because I am finally hearing change ringing bells joyfully going through their myriad patterns, and my mind doesn't immediately think of the boy in the manger. The cause for celebration is the fact that we have entered the Age of Aquarius, and the energies of the Goddess and Love are on the increase. These next few days are a portal of sorts, and if I can't find any bells (strangely, I don't own any), I'll bang a spoon on a tin pie plate! As long as I do it joyfully, it will be the same basic concept!

Looking Out

Looking out into the world, I am seeing pretty much what I've expected for years. It may seem like the world situation is quite complex or complicated, but I think it's pretty simple. The energy of Love, which is increasing in the world by the day, is impossible for some people to stand. It sends them 'round the bend, literally, and causes them to fight. I believed the Goddess when she "told" me years ago that She would never ask me to fight back...and I still believe that it is just a case of calmly holding Love energy as best as one can. That energy never pushes back, per se, it just simply cannot be in energetic relationship with anger and conflict and evil. It is a completely different "animal". Those lower emotions, thrown at an emanation of Love, simply bounce back at the attacker. It's hard after a lifetime of human training not to fight back, but it is getting easier as we get closer to to what is clearly going to be a major shift. And I keep reminding myself that there is only "yes". (I cringe every time I hear people say, we have to "stop" war, or guns, or intolerance. You don't "stop" things in this Universe, you embody the positive energy that you want, and those hard things just disappear.) Today's job, to hold the energy of where we are headed, not where we have been, and observe the circus with as much compassion as possible. I think I'm getting a bit repetitive, oh dear!

Once again, a shout out to public libraries. I need to do a bit of actual research in connection with the writing I am doing on the side, handwritten. How lovely to put a little of the inter-library loan activity into the hands of a much younger librarian at the main branch! I'm an excellent researcher, but it's about, what do I want to do in these precious days around the new moon and solstice? I want to delegate, at least in that situation, and I'm profoundly thankful that it is possible.

I am realizing that "looking out" can have the connotation of the expectation of something fearful, and that's not my meaning today, although being alert is always a good thing. No, as you look out today, just try to calmly discern what is Love-based and what is not, and remember that Love is all that will last in the long term.

A December Saturday

After so many deep and mystical posts, today I'll just catch up with a few threads and practicalities.

I forgot to mention that my computer problem was solvable -- at least for now -- with the purchase of an external keyboard. It took me a few trips to the store to figure out what to do, but I am thankful for a relatively simple fix, although my reflexive instinct to move my hands "up" to type is being challenged in the move "down". I am immensely fortunate in having such minor problems to deal with on this Saturday.

My health thing has been the vehicle for such an enormous revelation that I am holding off on writing about it here until I can do so adequately. And I'm still in healing mode -- would like it completely in the rearview mirror. I haven't forgotten it.

I'm writing something on the side (handwritten) that is so surprising and powerful that I'm not sure what to say except that I need to keep doing this the old fashioned way, which is how it seems to want to come out, and then assess what the next step with it should be.

Today, I'm attending a holiday festival, and tomorrow, a holiday get-together. When I am in the right frame of mind, I have been listening to carol services and choral music online, but as has been the case for years, being a new paradigm girl in an old paradigm holiday season is challenging. For a short moment here and there, I resonate with the old songs, but when that passes, it is over. Right this minute I seem to need silence more than almost anything, including listening to good talks by my peeps. If, indeed, the world is about to change utterly in about a week, then I guess I need to simply walk through it in my own way...getting up early and taking a walk and bringing in the newspaper, shoveling snow, cooking meals, puttering around with odd house chores, and writing, writing, writing. I sense that my life is, indeed, in the process of a major change, but I cannot act until my vision of it is clear. Patience...

 Wishing you a beautiful December Saturday...and Sunday!

My New Infinity Loop

I guess it isn't terribly surprising that in the last few days, a few substantial things have happened relative to what I spoke about last time, the "infinity loop" that I have been in throughout this lifetime, until a few days ago. The first is recognizing (from a somewhat different perspective than I have explored before) how this story explains my very, very limited success in the old paradigm which we are now leaving. I don't say this to excuse or validate any aspect of my unusual journey. But any farmer will tell you that seeds need to be attentively (even lovingly) tended if they are to blossom and grow. I won't explore this any further -- let's face it, that image was breaking into a million pieces when I wrote my last post, three days ago. I'll let those ragged shards disintegrate entirely, shall I?

In the middle of the night last night, I found myself trying to articulate what the horizontal "8" infinity loop would be all about if my other reference point was the Goddess, not my father (or the larger construct we have been in until now). For someone so Goddess-centered, I don't experience Her visually. I'm not (at least at the moment) inspired by ancient imagery or statuary of the Divine Feminine, so my outside reference point is more an amorphous but powerful feeling of Love, Beauty, Support, Harmony, and Wisdom. 

I tried to imagine Her first words upon my birth into this world -- or rebirth. "Welcome, beautiful Liz. Welcome Home. You are meant to be here. Your unique gifts of self-expression, beauty and musical harmony are just what this world sorely needs, and we are anticipating with enthusiasm seeing how you will use your gifts in this lifetime. We will do everything in our considerable power to nurture, support, and smooth the path you take toward developing these gifts and sharing them with the world. Know that We love you and are always with you." So I see (and feel in my heart) that these words are fertile soil for me. I am like a seed lovingly planted and then carefully watered, drained and exposed to adequate warmth. I am comfortable in my skin, and take the time necessary to practice my gifts and discern the best way to use them for the world's benefit. As the band of energy whirls behind me and around to my side, heading organically back into the world, I find myself sharing my gifts, my ideas, my creative output, and doing it joyfully, with excitement, with gratitude, and in the hope that my sharing is helpful to people, wildlife and planet. As this buzz of activity crosses in front of me and reaches earth's beings, my gifts are warmly welcomed. It's not so much a case of wanting or receiving praise or adulation. I just experience warm acceptance and gratitude. Other beings delight in seeing spiritual potential being reached. My actions have added new Goddess values to the earth, so when the energy of my gifts swirls around and reaches Her again, She is even more warm and welcoming, proudly saying "well done!", and urging me to continue to create, to continue to find new ways to embody and express Love, beauty, harmony, and peace. And so a new and far more fulfilling "Infinity Loop" continues...

Wow.

I hope, dear reader, that if it is right for you, you will insert your name into this narrative, and identify your best gifts for these emerging times. Whether they are in the arts or writing, or healing, or teaching, or community-building, or care for Nature, or spirituality...what could all of us achieve if we genuinely imagined that our truest gifts were welcome, that our truest gifts were of value, and that we were truly welcome? Fully and unconditionally?