Re-Weaving

Amid the sudden onset of winter (snow two days ago!), getting to the bottom of healing, government shutdowns, government re-openings, truths of all kinds breaking out, and astonishing Northern Lights (which I have, alas, yet to see in person) -- a pre-Thanksgiving expression of gratitude. Sometime this past spring, I discovered videos by Pam Gregory (astrologer), which led me to Heather Graham, Anne Tucker, Kelly Kolodney (The Angel Raphael), Lee Harris, Tim Whild, and many others. While each has a different lens on the world, they all seem to share the perspective that we are entering a time of intense spiritual awakening, and that anything functioning outside of the realm of Love will inevitably drop away. To discover that I am not alone in these thoughts is such a gift. It has been like experiencing Christmas for most of this challenging year of 2025.

Yes, I feel twinges of regret that I haven't made the choices that might have led me more to the center of the pack. Heck, my recent simple goal to upgrade my blog was at least temporarily stalled by medical and device challenges. Was that the Universe reminding me to stick to the basics? Or is that just an excuse?

At the moment, who knows? But one thing I do know and accept is that the path I signed up for in this lifetime is -- of course -- different from the paths of others. In an American woman, the unique intersection of English cathedral music and the Goddess was always going to be (um) challenging, and has yet to fully play out. On this cold November day, I feel more firmly ensconced in my niche than ever. These two major threads are re-weaving themselves together in a powerful way even as we speak.

Healing

Oddly enough, the word "healing" is not on my old list of Goddess words. In this lifetime, I have been fortunate enough -- most of the time -- not to need to focus on issues of illness and healing. I always found the Gospel stories, with their many healing miracles, rather curious. Strange. Illness hadn't been the main catalyst for my spiritual growth, although I know it can be for many, and I never quite resonated with those miracles.

Until now. I guess it stands to reason that at such an important crossroads for humanity, little old me would experience a medical challenge. It is something I had no choice but to pursue "traditional" modern treatment for, and willingly. And yet as that treatment seems to be working only partially or slowly, I fall back on what I learned thirty years ago when my mostly-no-health-insurance-mostly-no-health-care journey started -- our medical construct, like the majority of our institutions, is duality-based. It is based on fighting disease, thus, essentially, conflict and violence. True, most of us don't want to think of it that way, and when faced with a condition of any magnitude, we want to fight! We want to overcome illness and be well. If modern medicine can remove the problem, or the pain, or the discomfort, then "hell, yes!", right?

And yet I know now, as I did weeks ago and indeed decades ago, that the Goddess meant it when She told me She would never ask me to fight against (or for) anyone or anything. If everything is created by the Goddess, if everything is the Goddess, then there is no "enemy", no "disease", to speak of. Attempts to fight -- even in this context -- may only maintain or expand the "illness".

Even for me, this is still pretty mind-blowing...which may be why this particular challenge has come so late in my journey and also at the dawn of an all-Love Age of Aquarius. Because I am pretty sure most aspects of our duality-based science and medicine models will soon be turned on their heads. There is nothing to fight. There is contrast, yes. There are different colors, hues, and tints, yes. But nothing to fight.

Real healing, true healing, can only happen from this point forward in an environment of all-Love, complete self-acceptance, and complete acceptance of others. Yes, releasing old toxins, impurities, blockages, frustrations and anger is necessary, as they have been the roots of most illness. We need to bring our bodies forward with us as we awaken and unify. As Love floods the world, old pain will rise up and dissipate. At the moment, I am trying my best to walk this very path.

Perhaps some of you are also facing medical issues, or the frustration of only partial healing, and if so, hang in there. Try whenever possible to align with Love, with your true self, and with your most powerful link to the Divine. Listen for intuitive leadings. If you are like me, this may happen only in fits and starts. If you are like me, you may not yet be "ascended" enough to create an instantaneous healing event, much as many of us grasp that such things are possible. I've struggled the last few days with a sense of spiritual failure...I've been on such an intense spiritual journey all these years, why can't I heal faster? This is old talk, but it is rising up like other toxins to be dispersed into the ether. I am as good as I can be, and becoming more aligned with the Goddess every day. I am healing, and it is an ongoing process using old and new methods. 

I also wanted to report having recently seen a face filled with such love, acceptance, and good-humor that I was bowled over. While I think this was this person's natural state (and that it was not directed explicitly at me), the energy of it almost literally "branded" me. It's like, wow, finally! This is what Love looks like and feels like! On hard days, I need to remember it, and use it as a healing touchstone.

Goddess Words 52: Decisiveness

The ability to make a decision and follow through with it.

 I don't know whether it is about the particulars of my journey or being a woman in our macho culture. But "decisiveness" has been a really hard quality to embody, except on a handful of occasions, all of which have involved getting myself to England! But overall, my sense of being a person who gets to make my own decisions is, even today, quite wobbly. Women of my age grew up seeing few women in the public eye, which gave us the message that we would have little agency, even for things like property ownership, credit, and work. This seemed to "change on a dime" when I was about 15 (and the new message was, we women could do anything we wanted with our lives). But of course, what we didn't realize as teenagers is that the culture at large hadn't changed on a dime, and here we are, about 55 years later, and I still have never really, fully, accepted my own agency. And when you haven't got agency, it is hard to be decisive. 

Most of our lives have been further complicated by the need or desire to help others, or create families; I've been far more independent than most of my friends, and husband and children never entered the picture, but I also didn't believe in our system enough to thrive in it, making decisiveness and commitments requiring money (!) a challenge. So many of my friends have told me they still don't know what they would have wanted to do with their lives (and be decisive about), if they had been totally free. Decisiveness is a muscle, perhaps, and many of us just never had the opportunity to practice using it enough. As I approach 70, however, I realize that this is the moment for decisiveness and commitment way beyond the level I have yet achieved. To represent the Goddess (and Her Love) unwaveringly in a world that has lost its mind will require singlemindedness of the highest order.

The hardest part is watching as increasing numbers of people (and a large percentage of them women) are being stripped of all agency. Of every measure of freedom and income and health and shelter. I shouldn't be stunned by how energetically some people relish stripping others of their humanity, of their ability to make their own life decisions, but I am stunned, sick to my stomach, and furious. I realize that my own fears around decisiveness and commitment may stem from a lifetime of sensing this shadow looming over us, ready to pounce. It is actively hard not to fight back, but I can only use my power to create a love-filled future.

Is this why am I so committed to the Goddess, especially now? Yes, because Her paradigm may be the only one humanity hasn't seriously tried for untold generations. Because Her paradigm may be the only one that completely embraces the power of women and the importance of women. Twenty years ago, why did I add "decisiveness" to my Goddess list? Probably in the hopes that She might teach me to focus and act more decisively. At this stunning moment, I think She, herself, is being decisive --  Earth's people must now rise above fear, conflict and selfishness, period. I feel very emotional thinking about this. She knows that the only future for the Universe is Love, and She is committed. Now we must commit to Love as well. We must join her in our decisiveness, and only focus on Love. Only create using Love. I don't know why this is making me cry, but it is. Goddess bless us all.

Libraries

...as in, thank the Goddess for libraries, as long as they may last. My life has been so punctuated by times where the library was my only access to a computer (not to mention the pandemic year when I had neither computer nor library access, thus the opposite of most people's COVID experience!)

I have tried to start every morning with five minutes (yes, a mere five minutes!) of meditation, trying to access the highest level of love and joy that I can. Some mornings I have been successful, and some mornings less so. Yesterday, for instance, I turned on my timer and basically fell back asleep sitting up. Yet later in the day, I experienced around twenty minutes (over two stretches) of what I can only call joy or bliss. It was extraordinary. Here I am, still not completely well, antsy to move my life along, and hardly feeling aligned and in a state of inner peace, yet I somehow tapped into "it" -- maybe with the help of that photo I posted yesterday. I am immensely grateful to find myself getting to that place with no reference (or reverence) to outside influences. Somehow in the midst of it all, my inner channel must be clearing out.

Happy weekend everyone. I won't be joining in the scary celebrations this evening -- tomorrow is scary enough. I hope to get back to you within the next four or five days, by which time 3I Atlas will have flown by Venus, which in spite of myself, I can't help but be curious about! Take care!

New Paradigm Image

 

This seems like the energy of joy and wonder that we are all seeking. 

(In "reality", it is washed plastic bags drying in the sun.) 

It's Interesting

It's interesting. It is a foggy morning, having clearly dropped to 32 degrees last night. As the sun is rising, the light frost and dew are thawing and steaming. I went out for a walk wearing orange, and had to edge far into the narrow shoulder to avoid the traffic. 

Fog has certainly been a good metaphor for me recently, because truly, this has been the most mystifying transition for me of all the ones I remember. I think I have relied these last few moves on going "back" to places that perhaps I hadn't completely finished with, but once I re-visited several old places this summer, it became clear that that phase of my life is done. When I make the next transition, I hope the last major one, I believe it will be in a new way, to a new (or newer) place or situation.

However, in an interesting example of the "fork in the road" I spoke about the other day, at the very moment when I am also hoping to upgrade this blog somewhat, the Universe has stepped in with a tech challenge that I'll need to address soon. Over the next few weeks, I may have to focus on the basics and write a little less regularly while I make some decisions...it seems fitting in a way that as we leave the Age of Pisces and enter the Age of Aquarius -- and as I anticipate that I am transitioning to a new reality -- I need to make a change in this area as well. As ever, one of my guiding questions will be, "What would the Goddess do?" "What will be the best solution for doing the work of the Goddess?" Those questions increasingly help me cut through the fog.

What I Am and Am Not Writing About

Today I am expanding a bit on something I said last time. 

This has been an astonishing year. I don't have to tell you that. Astonishing, horrifying, flabbergasting. The wigging out that I anticipated as new waves of genuine Love enter our world is happening, big-time. For the sake of anyone new who might have discovered this blog, I wanted to say once again that, in not often writing about or analyzing world and national events, it is not a case of sticking my head in the sand. Hey, I am a former Time Inc-er. I listen to or watch the news at least once a day. I get exactly what is happening.

It's just that at going on 70 (my how this year has flown!), I am not willing to honor certain kinds of people and events with my attention. Whatever is left in this lifetime, whether five years or 35 years, will only be spent focusing on my values and the people and events in my "world". Earlier in my life, it was hard to avoid being clay in the hands of men, institutions and a cruel economy -- when I wasn't an unsuccessful pot being tossed out into the trash! As hard as I tried to be the subject of my own story, to form my own beautiful ceramic creations, I was rarely successful (except, arguably, here!)

When I turn my astonishment 180 degrees, to the emerging Aquarian age and the Love energy that is flooding our world, I know that if ever there were a time to be my own heroine, it is now. If there was ever a time to carefully focus my energies and words, it is now. As a child of extreme narcissism, it is a challenge every day to write mainly about my own process, my own path. But if these posts have helped even one other woman discover her own inner mystic, then writing every hard-won post will have been worth it. As I become clearer and clearer and more solid, and as the Aquarian era becomes clearer and clearer and more solid, it will simply stop mattering how shambolic the old paradigm becomes. There will literally not be something to write about.

I guess I just wanted my readers to know I am not completely clueless. Why I am worrying about that now, over ten years on, I don't know!