This phrase came to me a week or so ago: "What I am holding inside is holding me back." I'm sure this is not a new concept, but sometimes you need to find your own way to these milestones.
Despite having written over four hundred posts in the history of this blog, I've come "this close" to articulating a certain truth in my life, but I have continue to hold back. I am sure it has made some of my writing seem baffling; I was not ready yet. It has reached the point where the effort and energy it has taken to circle around the edges of the truth (to be metaphorical and not dive in) just isn't there any more. It has sapped me for a lifetime, and will continue to until I pluck up all my courage and speak.
I found my way to this cluster of human structures at the end of the biggest lake in the world, not to experience the new restaurants or brewpubs or outdoors opportunities or even to be surrounded by old friends and a familiar landscape. I found my way here because it is a place expansive enough for me to grow completely into me. And there is only one way to do that.
Sometime in the next few weeks, I'll break the holding pattern and take this next leap. Please "hold me in the light," as the Quakers say, as I inwardly prepare.
