I think it was in the Abraham-Hicks books and tapes that I was first exposed to the notion of a "yes-based universe", and almost immediately it resonated. I mean, I tried to put myself in the shoes of the creator of the universe (whether male, female, or beyond gender), and couldn't imagine wanting my creations to experience the pain of conflict, rejection, put-downs, "no"s of any kind. It made sense that creation was a positive form of action, not a negative one. As I've segued into focusing more on the feminine face of the divine, I've continued to see Her creativity as an expression of values that are positive to me -- peace, love, beauty, harmony, power within the whole (rather than individual power over).
Something quite thought-provoking and bittersweet hit me yesterday. It is the extent to which almost my whole life, I've been saying "no". As a woman who was probably aligned with Goddess values from early on, I've said, "no, no, no" all my life. I pushed back against being told I couldn't sing the music I loved. I pushed back against trying to fit into our economic system. I pushed back against modern American life and the values of expansion, bigger is better, personal ownership, consumerism and thoughtless disposal, and the promotion of violence. In subtle and not-so-subtle ways, I have pushed back against people, places, and institutions. I sometimes feel like my system has been saying "no, no, no" almost all day, every day. I don't think of myself as a protester, but I've been protesting nonstop! If I have a confession to make, it is that. Until recently, I have consistently defined myself more by what I am not than by who I am. Even upon my return to the part of the country I grew up in, "no" is still with me. While I feel slightly less discomfort here, I don't actively see myself in the landscape around me. A continuing subtle "no" -- is it a surprise that I've never really had a home?
If there has been a point to my continuing with this blog, it's been about trying to articulate what I say "yes" to. (My "Goddess Words" are one example, building blocks of a bigger "yes.") Indeed, I am trying to get beyond the whole duality of yes versus no...to try to sense what it would be like to live a "yes"-based life without any reference at all to the "no"s. Saying "no", just by the energy of passionate attention, is saying "yes", metaphysically. This is a pivotal moment. I must place my fullest attention on my genuine "yes"...this step has to come before finding a home.
Perhaps this isn't just a personal lesson. Perhaps this is the overarching lesson of this era. The things we are fighting are getting bigger and bigger and bigger, and more monstrous. The only way to get beyond it all, to survive into the future, is to sow the seeds of "yes" and start to nurture them. "Yes" to peace, love, beauty, harmony, community. My promise to myself today is to find one thing, no matter how small or large, to say an unconditional and enthusiastic "yes" to!
