This is one of those days when somehow, inexplicably, I feel a calm sense of life being "as it should be".
The living situation that two weeks ago seemed to be teetering, has stabilized into something that should last a year or more.
And learning that St. John's College, Cambridge is opening its choir program to girls and women seems to have completely released something in me, a lingering sense of responsibility to work toward equality in that field. The minute I hit "publish" on my last blog post, I felt the weight of a VW bus fall from my shoulders. I'm 65, and my life's work on and off this whole lifetime is now well and truly out of my hands, off my back. I had been "this close" for a few years, but now that phase of my journey is really complete. I can listen, sing along, travel (at some point) to England, follow developments, but I've "done" everything I could and can now "retire".
Yesterday, my early morning card reading was so apt...four of vessels/cups...often interpreted as boredom, disinterest, or inability to choose. The image was apt. Four full cups within reach, but not tempting enough to engage me enough to reach out. Then, a friend forwarded a link to some lectures offered by Harvard Divinity School. I listened to one of them, and was completely drawn in. My brain thrilled at the intellectual stimulus, the forward thinking, and the brilliant use of words. I felt nourished, in my element. At home.
This morning? The Hanged Man, a beatific figure seemingly at peace with being literally upside down in relation to the world. It's about acceptance, realizing that your journey could only have been topsy-turvy. Everything about the divine feminine is opposite (but in an ideal world, complementary to) the spiritual paradigms in place, and it's OK. That is as it should be. I could never have conformed to the modern American norm, and it's OK. What a lovely way to start the day, and the next leg of the journey.
