I wanted to follow through on what I brought up last time...and my continued amusement at the fact that the metaphor of the motorboat is continuing to resonate, rather than, say, a galloping horse. This is the year of the fire horse, after all! And most of my life, I have opted for non-motorized sailboating or rowing or kayaking. But for some reason, I can picture myself in an old-fashioned '60's-'70's era motorboat more than on a horse, although I've only experienced either of them a handful of times. (I have reverted to "motorboat" rather than "speedboat" "just because"...I think it is the kind of motion on the kind of lake that I'm used to -- straight north or south on Lake Champlain, for instance -- and it works best as my metaphor.)
So here's the thing. I'm out on the water on a sunny summer day, and someone else is driving the boat. I'm like this queen -- all I have had to do is step on the boat with what little remains of my belongings, and all my experiences and passions closest to my heart, and once the boat starts, I sit near the front with the wind whipping through my hair and droplets of water splashing on my face, and feel the exhilaration of moving fast, without, myself, having to move. This is not a case of leaving my destination in someone else's hands -- perhaps the driver is my higher self. But it is a case of, I don't personally need to make any of the small decisions, or steer the boat physically. In this present moment where life is moving with unprecedented rapidity, I'm finally in a vehicle that matches the speed of change. The v-shaped wake is disappearing behind me, and for the first time ever, I feel just about no sense of sadness or fear or nostalgia. I'm being taken where I need to go to unpack my few belongings and really, really shine. If it ends up being somewhere that I really didn't expect, I'll just get out of the boat and do my best to catch up with myself, as I always have!
The only illustration I could find that fully resonates with this feeling (because I think "feeling" is all, right at the moment) is an old oracle card of a woman riding a unicorn, her arms flown back like wings, and her face ecstatic in the sun. I guess that's the image I see of me in the boat -- in an embodiment of joy. The moments when I can feel this as lived reality are in the middle of the night. Perhaps those early hours are when I feel most "me", flying through the universal waters, under the stars. Sometimes it is terrifying, but when it isn't, it is exhilarating.
We all have different inner eyes and different metaphors, but find one where you can see yourself through the eyes of joy and excitement and bliss. Maybe on a rollercoaster, or paragliding, or on a train. This may seem like the hardest moment in history to do this, but more than one person has said recently that joy is perhaps the only response to what's happening! The only way to model and embody the new paradigm. The only way to be what so many things are not.
