Well, I'll give this a continued "go".
Astrologically, I gather that most of my major influences are water and air. I have little to ground me. From that perspective, I probably would have been better suited to a traditional religious construct, yet it was my left-brain intellectual mind that started the process away from male paradigms, toward the feminine. The catalyst was the realization that I simply could not function in our created culture -- I didn't originally have a major affinity for Nature. So I've been slowly learning (over the last thirty years or so) how to be a physical person, how to walk around on earth, how to relate to the ground, how to relate to plants and animals. Even now, it is a novelty. The other day, a woodchuck lifted his head above some plants near me, and I (as surprised as he was!) exclaimed, "Hi there, sweetheart!", and he turned and ran! As you know, I watch for the big birds, but this spring's small birdsong has fascinated me too, and seems louder and more raucous than I remember. I'm still not used to being back in the northeast with its unique sounds, sights, and smells.
The word "touch" has, of course, shown up almost everywhere over the last few days, even crossword puzzles. I'm not making a concerted effort to analyze what it means to me, or why it might be a Goddess word, I'll just continue to follow the trail, wherever it leads.
Yesterday, I was reading in a fiction book about the encounter between an abused horse and a woman. Her effort to connect with this horse resonated profoundly with me, and for about the fifteenth time in the last few weeks, I was close to tears. It reminded me of a horse moment in my own life. I had never had any encounters with horses (above and beyond being led around a rink on a pony as a child) until about 20 years ago, when, volunteering at a CSA, I was given the opportunity to brush the huge draft horses one morning a week. I knew I should either refuse to do it, or be extremely scared, but I was surprisingly calm. I was careful and vigilant (especially about their hooves), but from the first moment (whether this was true or not) I sensed that they trusted me, and I trusted them. Most important, they let me touch them, and gently brush their manes, tails, and bodies. I mean, they would undoubtedly have been as patient with any reasonably competent volunteer, but the experience meant the world to me. Even though I have never owned a pet, I still feel potentially more comfortable touching animals, and being touched by them, than people. Yet this life journey may be far from over, and it could be that I'm entering a new phase of allowing touch, when it is loving, trusting and compassionate on both sides.
My horse experience only lasted a few weeks...another chore more appropriate to my skills came along...but I treasure those hours, which I had almost completely forgotten.
That's all I can say today, but without necessarily continuing to do so in the context of Goddess words, I may pick up this "touch" theme regularly over upcoming weeks. I think I have stumbled across the "mother lode", literally and figuratively. There is a tangled mess within that needs light, and patient attention.
