Valentine's Day

You know, for me Valentine's Day is weird. It may be for some of you too. I mean, OK, I've never experienced real committed, romantic love with anyone. I don't know the experience of looking into someone's eyes and seeing a life partner, knowing that that person has some really special, permanent role in my life. I haven't ruled it out, but I suspect when it happens, the old paradigm "hearts and flowers" piece might not have much significance with us. When you have voluntarily moved on from your family of origin (whatever love language they speak, it is so different from mine that we no longer have any common ground...), and ditto most of our world's institutions, when you have no real home or possessions, when you are watching aghast at a world losing its mind and its precious hold on the thread of divine love, Valentine's Day is just plain surreal, although at this point, I guess no more so than anything else we're seeing.

So what do you do on this "new stretch of river" Valentine's Day? Yesterday was all about loving the little things. The bus driver who was cheerful. The lovely cards and greetings, including one at my current workplace. The lunch out with a friend. Navigating high snow banks and icy stretches of sidewalk without incident. The fact that the sun finally poked through the clouds. The fact that my Valentine's card to a friend really made them happy. Some homemade chicken soup for supper. The fact that I'm still alive. The fact that I am finally becoming fearless. The fact that I know who I am and I am finally, finally in love with myself. Even if I never experience the romantic candle-lit Valentine's Day in this lifetime, I'd never trade it for the version of it I experienced yesterday.