Yet, is it just me or is it human nature? I have found myself trying to couch this new beginning in the context of old places, people and situations. ("Maybe I'll go back here, or maybe I'll go back there.") I've had so little comfort and security in my life, perhaps it was just a case of wanting to experience something known as I head into something unknown. Metaphorically, it doesn't work. It's like dragging my boat back upriver a few years, a few decades, and returning to the water at an old stretch of river. It's like taking the oil painting of my life -- which I've carefully taken turpentine to and cleaned of much of its old definition and imagery -- and then racking my brain to remember exactly what the painting looked like in order to replicate it. That isn't the point of such a deliberate rebirth. The point is rebirth, not replay. A different energy is beginning to emanate from me, and that will attract experiences with different qualities.
You may be surprised to hear that I did not watch the royal wedding. (I even once sang with the Royal Holloway choir at St. George's Chapel, Windsor, and remember the setting well.) But having been in England for all the Charles and Diana celebrations in 1981, and having felt so brokenhearted at subsequent events, I just couldn't watch on Saturday. Since then, I have seen snippets of it online, and I can tell the service was beautiful, musical, uplifting and heartfelt. And I watched a wonderful interview with Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury, who performed the wedding, and Episcopal Presiding Bishop Michael Curry, who gave the sermon. The energy of their interview was so positive, joyful and hopeful that I was in tears. They both saw this event as an expression of love, not just the couple's, but of the larger force of love in the world. While their specific spiritual lens and mine may differ because my focus is increasingly on the divine feminine, I resonated with the fact that both of these religious leaders were clearly infused with genuine joy. It was truly stirring.
