So I guess I'll just say how I plan to get through this day, and ones like it if they should occur again in the future. I will stay the safest place I can be today. I will keep breathing. I will eat comforting foods, drink tea, and sit in a comfortable chair or allow myself to read, nap or sleep. I will try to identify the feelings I am feeling, if possible, although I won't force the matter. I will try to identify when in my life I first felt this way, if possible, although I won't force the matter. I will try to give my inner self permission to feel whatever I am feeling, and embrace her with the best comfort I can.
However (and I am indebted to Teal Swan's The Completion Process for much of what I have learned about dealing with these dreadful moments), the goal of this day will not be to "feel better." As she puts it, "Instead of feeling better, your aim is to get better at feeling..." (p. 188). When you've spent much of your life trying to out-sail the storm, the whole point now is to experience it, to feel its power. These waves haven't shattered me yet; their truths are actually making me stronger and feistier, as you may be able to tell from some of my recent blogs! But days like today are "breathe, breathe, breathe." Just breathe, breathe, breathe.
