Yesterday, I received the best gift of all.
Someone actually asked me to tell them more about what I mean about the Goddess, and about my journey to a Goddess perspective on things.
It's so ironic, really. For years, I've wanted to be asked just such deep questions, to be taken seriously. I've wanted people to want to hear my speaking voice, my singing voice. I've wanted deep communication with people that went beyond the surface and shared the most profound inner truths and experiences. So you might think I would have prepared for just such a moment. You might think I would have prepared that succinct, enthusiastic "elevator speech".
But no.
I was first stunned, then thankful for the unexpected gift of probing questions, but I proceeded to blather. I rambled. I stumbled into inevitable stereotypes. Speaking off-the-cuff, I didn't feel articulate, self-assured, or the least bit knowledgeable. For the granddaughter of a pioneering woman lawyer, I made an absolutely abysmal case for the need for the divine feminine in our world, much less in my own life.
Except...
Like a little girl on her first bicycle ride, amidst all the wobbling and zig-zagging, I stayed upright. I didn't burst into tears, which can happen when I feel insecure. My own ears heard a few little snippets of wisdom in what I said. I knew that somewhere within me, I was on solid ground, and that the gift of being asked was actually an exploration and acknowledgement of my God-/Goddess-given gifts, gifts I have always wanted to share more fully, but was afraid to. Even I have been afraid of their power. I have been afraid of being ridiculed even more than ever.
Now that one person has asked good questions, it's possible that someone else will too, so I need to get back up on the bicycle and practice. And perhaps the best place to do that will be here in my blog. I owe it to my friend to share the gift forward. I owe it to my readers to become ever-clearer about the topics closest to my heart, and ever more courageous.
