Since I mentioned my close encounter with a merlin (bird) in my last post, I thought I would tell the whole story.
So, about a week ago, I was in the living room, standing in front of the large front window, but looking down at something. I heard a crash against the window, and felt that sick feeling of knowing a bird must have hit it. When I looked up, the most extraordinary sight met my eyes. There was a bird outside the window, flapping its wings like crazy, and seeming to stare at me. It wasn't a small bird like a wren or chickadee; it was fairly large (maybe 10-12 inches) and looked a little like a small hawk. But I was completely confounded. Had it hit the window and was stunned? I felt a little like a character in a movie, with my eyes agog and mouth gaping open. The bird appeared to be staring directly at me, almost like it was trying to communicate. After about 20 seconds, it flew off, but almost immediately came back and hovered for the same amount of time, staring into the house, then took off and didn't return.
Once I could move again, I thought I should run outside and make sure the bird had been able to fly away, and hadn't dropped onto the sidewalk or street, but when I opened the front door, I realized that there was a dying robin on the porch! At that point, I burst into tears...I knew it was suffering, and I wasn't sure I had it in me to do what was necessary to put it out of that suffering. Long story short, thankfully, a friend was able to help the robin to a respectful end, and, still kind of stunned and tearful, I looked through my book of Minnesota birds and found my hovering bird -- a merlin! I have since heard from friends that they can be rather common here. The book said that they are less likely to swoop down and hover than other falcons, but I guess in this case, it definitely hovered (which in my ignorance, I thought only hummingbirds did!)
Reasoning it out, I realize that the merlin must have been chasing the robin, and the robin hit the window, but the merlin stopped short and hovered. And it is likely that it was transfixed more by seeing itself in the window's reflection than by me (although there was enough late afternoon light in the room that I might also have been visible). But the feeling that I had this encounter for a reason -- that it was giving me a message -- continues to linger. Hawks and falcons have a number of spiritual meanings, including "messenger", and the merlin's intense black eyes may never leave me. It's also not lost on me that one of the key figures in the British Arthurian legend is the wise man, "Merlin"...hmm...
