As happened last time, I had a whole 'nother plan for today's blog but my mind keeps gravitating to the wars being waged in this world. Talk about falling into a dark hole.
It is something I will never understand -- how and why humans hurt and kill other humans. Perhaps it is the perspective of being post-duality and post-conflict...but I simply do not get it, on any level. How can any person or group of people feel they have the right to cut short another human life (or ten, or a thousand, or a million)? And this isn't one of those things where if it's my country, I'm all for fighting...no, I don't think it is acceptable anywhere in the world, by anyone, for any reason, including self-defense. There will never be a "war to end all wars" -- unless it literally ends human life on earth. The only way to end wars (longterm) is for individuals to commit to complete and utter personal nonviolence, and then walk forward fearlessly and weapon-free, not holding on to whether you live or die, and not holding on to how other people or groups think of you.
Am I completely adept at this? No. There are moments when someone I encounter raises my hackles, and I feel stressed, defensive, or fearful. I try really hard to arrive at an immediate understanding of what the core fear was for me in the situation...and sometimes I manage to do that quickly enough to apologize to the person, sometimes not. Yesterday, a complete stranger said, "Do you mind if I ask you your name?" And I said, "Yes" and kept walking down the street. (Yes, I did mind!) My inner big city girl found this just too strange, and I felt kind of off-kilter for a good hour or more. Perhaps this young man meant well, or perhaps he meant ill; I'll never know. As a woman, I always feel somewhat vulnerable. But would I ever carry a weapon to attack such a person? No.
I'm tired, too, of a lifetime of grieving all the lives cut short. I guess that's a subject for another day. In the end, I can't help but feel that I've already lived in an era where they "studied war no more", and all I can do is make it real in me today and hope there is a small ripple effect.
