On this day before Thanksgiving, most Americans are doing their travel outwardly, and as ever, mine is inward. And as ever after a big "aha" kind of day, I've had several hard ones. I think what swamped over me was the sheer amount of love I have within me for England and English church music, fires and fires of passion constantly pushed back from without or self-pruned from within. And then when you add in my belief in my own spiritual vantage point, what I now think of as Goddess spirituality, and how afraid I have been of letting that beacon shine, well, the enormity of it all as it emerges into the bright light is quite overwhelming.
But today I am also so very thankful. Inexplicably, I am still alive, with friends and strangers having been patient enough to facilitate a path through the underbrush...as completely unsettled as it has been, I am finally genuinely, 100% thankful that my journey was a woman's experiment, that I didn't have a husband, children, normal career, or a home, to pour my energies into. (I dearly want a home, but not the construct we have created in this old paradigm.) Nearly 70 years of energy has gone solely into finding my own core truths, and starting to live from them. Perhaps without my knowing it, these years were also preparation for the time of expanded Love that we are entering. Navigating this time will require almost superhuman alignment with Love values, and growth at a fast and spontaneous pace.
There's one other enormity, isn't there? Millions upon millions of women in the world whose true gifts still remain hidden. If I have a wish on this Thanksgiving eve, it is that all of us find the truth of what we love, and who we are, quite independently of the swirling, constantly distracting culture around us.
And today, just for the heck of it, I am going to call myself the "English Goddess". There.
