Most of my online "peeps" have anticipated this month of December 2025 as one of the most spiritually powerful on record, and some of their enthusiasm has begun to wear off on me, although the journalist/academic/lawyer in me had been trying to take a wait-and-see approach.
However, that reticence is beginning to dissipate. In recent days, the combination of my own physical and mental healing efforts, a powerful hand-written story that seems to be surging out of me, plus listening to some beautiful online material about Love and Nature, has led to an epiphany and (perhaps?) ascension. (There are a lot of threads I'm throwing out there and forgetting to re-weave into this narrative, but I do not want this to be one of them.)
So this stunning moment involved envisioning my connection with my father as one of those horizontal figure 8 "infinity" signs. His part of the sign's loop was to the left, and mine was to the right. In a flash, I understood that the energy line swirling out from him, crossing over, then coming toward me had communicated, from my birth, this message: "You are not valid, you are not important, and I have no interest in hearing you speak or seeing you succeed." (I have referred to this in the past.) As this energy made its way to me, I learned to cringe, to hide myself, to belittle myself, and to dismiss my own impulses. Then as the energetic band came to its furthest point and started to circle back around me in the other direction, I'd find myself reacting, saying, "Heck, no!" and starting to create, act, or speak with as much power as I knew how, but that effort would make its way on this spinning "8" band back toward my father, into whose black hole emptiness it would be sucked, seemingly forever -- until the loop spun out from behind him again and he'd start the process anew, making it clear that I wasn't wanted or necessary.
As I watched this process and began to understand it, and to remember specific events and examples, I understood something else. For the very first time, I was watching this process from above. I was no longer "in" that particular infinity loop, taking part in it. I was in observer mode, watching long enough to understand the meaning of what I was seeing, at which point the whole image started to blur then basically break up into a million pieces. I feel free this morning in a way that I don't know that I ever have. Of course, there are interesting larger metaphorical interpretations of this whole thing, and I'd like to think that my new orientation is to Love, which supports me and loops love back to me. I suspect that in the wake of this mystical experience, there will be outward changes in my life, which I'll try to keep track of and let you know about!
All I know is, "infinity" is easier to face, no longer being in that particular loop!
