The only thing keeping me going this week is the belief that a large percentage of humanity has already outgrown the paradigm that we are seeing play out in front of our eyes (and for many people, literally on their streets). Too many humans are way beyond that manner of thinking, much less acting. And Gaia Herself is so "done" with it. Those of us not on board with conflict and domination have to make our own decisions about how to grow the new paradigm, and express the Aquarian values that are the cornerstone of coming centuries. Watching the old paradigm play out and die out is excruciating; hanging onto the core of Love within ourselves is key to moving forward.
The harder part is realizing how much one is outgrowing on a personal level as all this is taking place. Even one of the positive developments I experienced a few days ago now seems like something from a previous century. I think I've been ahead of the curve my whole life, but I managed to ground myself in certain places and with certain people just enough to keep from completely falling between the cracks. Now, in my old cabin cruiser speeding down the lake with my few bags of belongings, watching the foamy wake disappear behind me, I feel some of the wrenching tears on a personal level. When "they" talk of going through the eye of the needle of spiritual growth, it's for real. All that will fit through this passageway is you, your dear heart, a few belongings, and open arms. I've essentially been a solitary New Age nun most of my life, no matter what setting I was living in, and I am actually tired of being alone. It terrifies me that this portal must be travelled solo, much as I seem made for it. As soon as I step through, I trust with all my heart that there will be kindred spirits on the other side/in the new cove of the lake/whatever metaphor you like. People for whom war, conflict, and resistance simply do not compute. People who have also put "all their eggs" in the Love basket.
I'm on retreat this weekend, and in light of the above, it is both the best and the hardest place to be. Wherever you are, blessings. Keep breathing. Keep being yourself.
