New York, New York

Yes, I made it. I am in the city, for a short two days of seeing old friends and hearing several choral evensongs at St. Thomas Fifth Avenue. My family roots in this place go back to the 1600s and 1700s, and it is literally in my bones. After my year at Royal Holloway in 1980-81, I needed to pay back my student loans and was here through most of the 1980s, living on the Upper West Side, working at Rockefeller Center, singing and studying art in the Village, and volunteering at the South Street Seaport. Several times, I walked all the way from W. 104 Street to the Seaport, and subway travel never fazed me either. I never made enough money to take part in the cultural offerings of "city living" the way I should have (I attended few shows, concerts or operas), and it was a very rough transition from England, but I was reasonably happy here and had a surprisingly low key life.

Six years ago I came down to sing in the Choir of St.John the Divine, and I had a hard time re-acclimating to the city. Within the cathedral close, I felt at home, but life in New York overall had a very different energy than it had thirty years before, and I had lived in much smaller communities in the interim. I was overwhelmed, to be honest. In the end, I was glad that a changing choir didn't bring me with it, and I chose to leave again when the experience ended.

So this return visit has given me the chance to just observe. It can still be such a magical place. Yesterday, in one day, I observed more funny, poignant, fascinating snapshots of humanity than I have in a year. People are kind, from bus drivers to sales clerks to random people on the elevator. I saw John Singer Sargents at the Metropolitan, flowering trees in Central Park, and dozens of broken umbrellas in trash bins after the rain. Bicycle messengers careen through traffic, and extremely elderly people navigate the same sidewalks as the fast-moving young.

There are two factors that make it an ever-harder place for me to be, however. The first is the midtown building boom. I experience claustrophobia, and that sense of being closed in, in the 40's and 50's, is really almost unbearable. Sidewalks that didn't seem cavernous in 2011, are lost in the shadows now. Streets are gridlocked. And then there is that feeling of disconnect I always feel trying to interact with our economic paradigm; it is clearly quite alive in New York and fueling all this growth. I just "don't get it" and feel more lost in the shuffle here than elsewhere. Ah well...that part of my journey is always a challenge.

The key to 48 hours of enjoyment is seeing old friends, seeing the art I love, and hearing the music I love. Everything is easier to navigate from the heart.