Literally, right now may be the first time in my life I am glad to be myself. I think from early on, I had a strong but almost invisible thread of self-love and understanding of divine love, but "liking"? "Glad to be me"? I don't think so. I wasn't glad to be a girl who couldn't sing the music I wanted to sing. I wasn't glad to be intelligent. I wasn't glad to be rather plain looking with thick glasses. I wasn't glad to be called "holier than thou" and "too serious/smart/unrealistic." I wasn't glad that I didn't understand much of anything about our economy or society (my brain was no help there!) I wasn't glad to be single, poor, searching. I wasn't glad to never find a home or a tribe across thousands of miles of American wandering. I wasn't glad to be perceived of as rather pathetic, too spiritual and not "worldly" enough.
Metaphysical/Law of Attraction thinking really is predicated on a person having an essential liking of themselves. Ultimately, I think we "attract" as a magnet to that very core. Nice sounding affirmations about attracting abundance or new homes or careers weren't working with me because, in a nutshell, I wasn't glad to be me. There was an empty hole where gladness was supposed to be, and emptiness attracted emptiness.
What has changed in this tsunami season? Left on the beach, I aligned more completely with Goddess energy than ever before. My heart cracked open in the waves. I was washed into the black hole of nothingness and found my way out. Then I became the tsunami and found my own power.
For several decades, I've understood that the 2020s and 2030s are probably going to be the biggest energetic transition in human history. I will come out of this winter finally appreciating that the factors on the list above were, in fact, gifts to help me be a leader in the future. I didn't fit in up until now precisely because I wasn't energetically aligned to the times; I am more so to the times we are entering, times that will become far more love-infused. Finally, glad to be me.
