As you know, one of the things about my life has been the huge rift between "English church music" me and I suppose you might say the more organic, feminist, American me. There's been so little overlap between "my music" and "other music." The group I was with comes together regularly simply to sing for the joy of singing -- no performances, no sheet music, and no religious construct. Someone had suggested that I find a piece to share with them that might help bring these two sides of myself together, and it was a good idea. I've so rarely led singers, and leading when there are tears in your eyes is hard. But I think they loved the piece, especially, as I do, the words...
Come, my Joy, my Love, my Heart
Such a Joy, as none can move
Such a Love, as none can part
Such a Heart, as joys in love.
My other memory of this hymn is that about eight years ago, when I had been completely away from church music for decades, I walked into a cavernous Gothic-style Episcopal cathedral and sat at the front, near the crossing. No one else seemed to be around, and I fumbled through the hymnal, and decided to sing this hymn. However imperfectly and rustily, my voice rose up to the roof and reverberated. I cried then too. I like the fact that I sang it alone that time, and in community this time. Perhaps all of this is connected with my call, but I won't worry about that this longest day. Let us all "joy in love" on this summer solstice.
