Back in Duluth, after summer in the big city. As the bus crested the hill and headed down toward Lake Superior, I wasn't as thrilled by the view as I was 30 years ago, more filled with a certain wonder. The vast expanse of lake and the "arms" of her shoreline were welcoming me yet again. Are there any other residents of this city who have left and returned and left and returned more times? Always thinking, I've outgrown Duluth, time to move on, yet coming back...I suppose it is hubris on my part. How do you "outgrow" the largest lake in the world? She has something more to teach me. I am not sure how completely I'll take root this time, but I have made a commitment to just being present, at every moment.
I was saying to someone the other day how living with a succession of different peoples' "homes" over the years forces you to a kind of adaptation most people never experience. When you are under someone else's roof, you tend to adapt to their way of life whether they expect it or not, or are physically present or not. This summer, I had one of the most pleasing sets of circumstances I have ever had, and one that came closest to an easy alignment with my preferences: no television, morning meditation, healthy food (and a co-op two blocks away), healthy simple lifestyle, beautiful small garden easily accessible in the back, and always-meaningful conversation. That, and lots of quiet time too. The real me came out to play.
But I have had to shape-shift again. Within minutes of arriving Sunday at a short house-sitting gig, I had turned on the television and grabbed a piece of paper toweling as a napkin, rather than the cloth alternative. Because the "normal" supermarket is closer than the health food store and I am on foot, I walked to it to get some groceries. I tried to choose organic options whenever possible, yet I inevitably grabbed several overpackaged and over-preserved items. I am our current environmental crisis in a nutshell -- convenience and adaptation to what's easiest and on offer guided my actions. I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. Many people would never have survived a life of constant transition at all; at any given moment I am doing the best I can to shift gears and be as fully where I am with as much integrity as possible. I'm glad I had this summer to experience "shifting" into a model that suited me. Staying aligned with that model in different circumstances may be hard, but not completely impossible.
And, hey, I suspect that an elementary ability to shape-shift may actually come in handy in upcoming months and years!
