Today, gale force winds and snow and rain expected. Last weekend's brief thaw got rid of a lot of snow; brown grass lines the sidewalks, and a few little weeds are showing up green. Life goes on, even after one of the coldest winters on record.
Even for me, this transition from duality to unity/harmony is darned hard. Using my last post's model, most mornings I watch the news, facing in fairly real time the worst that humanity has to offer. I try to meditate on it, come to peaceful terms with it. But there is a part of me that still wants to jump out of my skin with frustration and anger, possibly buy a ticket to Poland and help people at the border. I want, in short, to fix what is clearly wrong. For many people, this will be the right thing to do, and Goddess bless them.
The blessing and curse of my upbringing is having a clear understanding of these kinds of leaders. Deep down they want to upend everyone's lives. They want to hurt and destroy. They want to ruin or at least manipulate people's lives and plans. Their oxygen is attention and "power over", and the more we change our lives in order to fight them, or resist them, or try to fix what they are blowing to smithereens, or even help them, the more satisfied they are. Many of my major life decisions were based on wanting to help my family. Certainly not every decision, but many of them. And when I did do things primarily for myself, I felt guilty. Helping fix a family that didn't believe it was broken was a black hole, and, in the process of doing it, I drained myself almost entirely of life energy. The heroic desire to save is not wrong. It is understandable and at times, beautiful, within the context of the paradigm we've lived in for thousands of years.
But as we move out of this conflict-based duality phase, many concepts will fall by the wayside, including heroism, salvation, loyalty, and nationalism. We won't need to be heroic, because no-one is being hurt. Leaders won't hold "loyalty" over people's heads, because power will be circular, not vertical; when there are "leaders", they will be people we truly, genuinely love and respect. Etc. At the end of the day, I know my personal role is to try not to react to anything done by a monster, but to model turning completely away from the monstrous and living as if we were already in the New Paradigm. It may take decades for earth to make the transition, but most of me is already there. It's been surreal, but it seems to be what I do best.
Nature continues her own struggle for survival, with early spring tornados, "freakishly" high temperatures at the North and South Poles, out-of-control wildfires. And in the commercial breaks on the news programs I watch, ever-bigger and more technologically-complex cars, appliances and conveniences are advertised. It looks unlikely that I will ever afford these things, but by now I simply cannot imagine wanting them anyway. I cannot imagine not understanding their role in throwing earth out of balance. I cannot imagine why, as a society, we aren't calling a loving "standstill" and humbly asking Mother Earth how to proceed.
