I am happy to report that since I wrote on Monday, I have discovered that the deadline I thought was in place for leaving my current residence is much more flexible than I thought. At least for the moment, I can focus on being where I am in the present, rather than how to move forward from here. Thank the Goddess! That doesn't mean that my life is any less about transition, just that a tiny edge of the fear has been shaved off for now. I have sometimes thought I was fearless, but that isn't completely true, especially when I leap across chasms (!) And COVID-time brought some deep fears to the surface.
That brings me to a good word to look at today: Support. Again, both a verb and a noun. And, again, a word that's impossible to fully address in one short essay.
Why might I have included this in my list of Goddess words, words which I associate with the powers and energy of the divine feminine? Clearly, even a decade or so ago, I had begun to associate Goddess energy with being "supported" by the Universe. I now see safety nets as the Goddess, and, in fact, when I let go and let Her figure things out, life purrs. It's when I get caught up in knots trying to operate within the male paradigm -- to make lists, try to find solutions, try to find the money, create artificial deadlines, to prove to others that I am worthy, etc. -- that is when the safety net completely disappears and I crash or become despairing.
It's kind of hard, in our culture, to think of "support" without thinking of money. We are constantly being asked to support the causes we believe in, by donating money. Within the context of the old paradigm, this makes sense, but I have lost friends and family in part because of their fear of my relationship with money, and of the possibility that they will be "stuck" supporting me. It is so painful. Yet my experience has been that the Goddess doesn't, primarily, use money as much as she uses relationships, love, connection and unity as supportive foundations. (For someone like me, money only appears in situations where there is love; doing jobs I don't like or buying a lottery ticket has never worked.) Decades from now, love, kindness and goodwill will be our only currency; maybe I was a little ahead of the game, but I'm happy to have at least tried to live in integrity to this vision.
Yup, most of us cannot see the Goddess's supportive network with human eyes, looking at a human bank account. We cannot always access it by traditional means, like an ATM. But it is there for us if we can completely let go of our old assumptions. If all our belongings are swept out to sea, and if we are still alive and have the capacity to love, She will provide the one essential next step. She will provide more open-ended, warm, loving support than we can find in almost any current institution, but the form may not be what we expect. One small opportunity here, one small coincidence there, one unexpected synchronicity or discussion with a stranger...For those of us beginning to find a home in Her, pathways open up, old blockages loosen up, dead lines disappear. Throw in a little gratitude, and the process accelerates. We may even find ourselves being Her vehicle for supporting others, easily, lovingly, fearlessly. We start being part of Her support network, and often without once pulling out a checkbook.
