I haven't slept well recently, and this morning I have been up since about 1:30 AM, so I finally decided, it's a new moon, so why not really do something "new" and get up and write -- and in addition, change the format and color of my blog slightly. I mean, this is pathetic -- minor changes...not reflective of what apparently is the actual power of this new moon...but it feels quite dynamic to start the day so very differently.
One thing I am realizing, in the brutal honesty of 4:30 AM, is that I am bored. And I think I've been bored much of the time in this lifetime. If I am "Aquarian" on as many levels as I think I am, then it was always boring (if you will) to deal with the dying civilization of the Piscean age. I've done my best, but I've rarely been fully engaged, in my element, full of life. So at this pivotal moment in the world's evolution, absolutely all my old kinds of options feel like closed doors. Most of my activities have lost their luster, or I can only do them for very limited periods of time. I had planned a new adventure later this week, but then a bodily illness jumped in to cancel that plan. Hmm...
On occasion, I have said that life felt like a long bright hallway with a lot of doors, only one of which I could open at a given crossroad. But this morning early, I seem to have even less actual agency. I feel more like I'm in a fragile paper bag, and the Goddess is carrying me somewhere completely, utterly new, and when I get there, the bag will open and I will fly out -- my earthbound self having had no choice in the matter whatsoever. I will still be on this planet and in this lifetime, but "flying" more freely and with more integrity, and in a completely new landscape, literally and figuratively.
The other day, I found yet another beautiful little bird's feather on the ground, light grey with a small patch of orange-y pink. I've looked online, but can't find images that match it, so perhaps this is my wing. My transportation when the bag opens, perhaps in another new moon, or two or three.
