The other joy of 59-and-a-half

Of course, if there’s joy to learning to focus only on my opinion of my life (and that of my Source), the flip side is also true.  My opinion of others’ lives may well be similarly irrelevant to them.  It's so tempting to focus on the lives of friends and family, or society as a whole, and wonder why the heck other lives don't resemble ours.  It's even tempting to give advice, to counsel, to plead.  And yet, in the end, each person on the planet is responsible to their inner guidance and their Source. 

Yeesh.  That’s a drag! 

I have caused myself enormous pain over the years trying to convince people and institutions to change, to become something I wanted them to be.  I have often channeled my inner grandmother, the pioneering woman lawyer, and written heartbreakingly eloquent, passionate, and “well-argued” letters to people or institutions, making a case for my point of view.  Often, I was, of course, right (!)  It infuriated me no end that they did not see that I was right. Not only was my vantage point often rejected, it was sometimes totally ignored. Indeed, this still happens.  Why can’t they see what I see?

Well, of course, it’s because they have a different set of eyes.  Different values.  Different religion or nationality.  Different astrological chart or Meyers-Briggs type.  Different gender.  Different age. Different “energy.” If it is an institution or community, the situation is even more complicated.  It may have a certain mission, but that mission may be muddied or watered down by the different personalities involved.  There is a Quaker expression, “the angel of the meeting.”  If I understand it correctly, some Quakers see certain meetings-for-worship as having a certain "personality" that just doesn’t necessarily change with the arrival of new personnel or new opinions.  How can we all work together with so many perspectives and backgrounds in play?  It's a challenge.

I don’t know if the urge to change, or at the least, teach, other people ever completely goes away.  If we become aligned with our own natures, and believe in our own truth, it’s hard not to take that a step further and “exude” a bit.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.  Many of us cannot "not" advocate for women’s rights, the environment, social justice, or peace, or other causes we believe in.  The tricky piece – whether it involves family, close friends, or society – is expecting or insisting on change.  That’s the thing that may break your heart. 

If I’m a daffodil and someone else is a rose, the fact is, they are not going to become a daffodil no matter how hard I want them to.  They are beautiful and have different qualities of beauty, and they are on this planet at this time as a different kind of flower than I am.  Indeed, there are 7 billion of those different flowers, which is an astonishing testament to the unlimited power of creation.  Just as, at 59-and-a-half, I am too exhausted to keep trying to follow 7 billion other ideas on how to live, I am also too exhausted to try to convince 7 billion people to do it my way.  There is liberation in releasing both of these efforts!  With the ten, twenty, or thirty years left of my life, I only have energy to focus on the best path for me.  I hope that this will lead to a more effective transmission of my gifts to the world, and renewed verve!