When you have basically anticipated an era for decades, and have a contemplative/observer/figure-it-out kind of bent (not to mention my unfortunate family heritage!), it can be a little too easy to keep some of the emotions of the time at bay. But for the last few days, I've often been either in tears or on the verge of tears because the suddenness of events has cut to the quick.
The story of the four young siblings floating away in Kentucky's floods was just beyond heart-wrenching. Trying to get into the shoes of the adults minding the children was just as distressing as imagining being a child swept into a river. (The philosophy that there is really no such thing as "death" isn't helpful at certain moments...) And much as I "get" owning next-to-nothing, trying to imagine owning a home one minute, and watching it (and all the contents) succumb to a flood or fire the next minute, is, again, nearly impossible. These brave people have much to teach us right now. None of us can assume that it will not happen to us.
And sudden change filtered down to day-to-day life here in the north country. An extraordinary woman who helped untold people in the community was "here" Saturday (and I happened to see her long enough for a quick wave hello and "keep cool!"), but had left this earth plane by Sunday. Then late Sunday, I was on a video call online, when a huge thunderstorm came up, and I had to quickly exit and deal with closing windows, etc. So it's not just about loss, it's about that "here one minute, gone the next"-type of energy shift. It breaks through one's emotional reserves, one's ability to plan, and (perhaps a good thing) one's tendency to "assume".
There's a silver lining, of course, which is that things can suddenly shift in a good or surprising direction. I felt teary with happiness, seeing a video clip of Joni Mitchell singing "Both Sides Now", five years after a stroke or aneurism left her unable to sing. It was inspiring, but also so wonderful that she chose that, of all songs. I didn't understand back in the '60s how much wisdom I was soaking in from the lyrics of the time. That era's message of peace, love and balance may help some of us keep going in the shaky present, over fifty years on.
