On Sunday mornings, I have taken to walking down to Duluth's Rose Garden for "communion", I guess you could say. We are so behind most of the country in terms of signs of spring...there was a strong, cold northeast wind. The rose bush leaves are largely out, but no buds. Our lilacs are at their peak, and so are many flowering trees. But still, the view out to the lake was sort of wintery...I huddled with a zipped-up winter jacket on one of the big cement benches, trying to soak in its warmth, and watched as families took pictures, people (in odd clothing combinations!) walked dogs, children ran around in circles, and birds swooped around. There was a relaxed, rather joyful energy.
As much as I can immerse myself in the beauty of such an experience (and truly, the older I get, the more gratitude I feel for even a few moments like this!), there is still an ugly counterpoint running through my mind, which these days seems to manifest in questions. Why, when dominant religions say "Thou shalt not kill", do so many people want to do so? Why do countries go to war? Why do we believe we "own" the land? Why do we believe we are separate from other people? How can we see conflict-driven institutions as providing answers? Why did we race ahead with artificial intelligence before embracing women's intelligence? Why do we still think of nature last, rather than first? And then when I get back to the house and watch tennis on TV (which I still like to experience a few times each summer), I'm overwhelmed by the near-violence of its slamming balls, and of the ads for enormous SUV's, the summer movies and new smart phones. Our larger human construct, in most of its manifestations, just feels like a painful battlefield. There is so little of it that I can tolerate at this point.
When that starts to feel overwhelming, I just remind myself of what I believe, which is that this century will see the return of the divine feminine's love power. Anything that is not primarily about love will just fade away or stop working, and moments of heart-filled beauty will become the norm, not the rare, momentary exception.
