I love the British slang expression, "to go pear-shaped". It basically means, when everything starts to go wrong, turn upside-down. And what is a woman to do when the world is going seriously pear-shaped, but add a new word brick to the foundation of her Goddess house?
And from my still very long list of potential words for today, I've chosen "song". I guess it drew me because of being so closely related to the Christmas "carols" that I can no longer sing. (I just looked up "carol", and indeed, it is any joyful song, but most commonly used in the Christmas context.) What I'm thinking about today isn't too much different than what I said in "Goddess Word 13: Music", on November 15 of 2022, if you want to go back and look at that. Yes, everything in the Universe is a form of music, an energetic vibration. Our lives are music, and Nature's creations, out to the furthest galaxies, are music writ large -- entire symphonies.
Song is distinct in that it is music paired with words. If you love a song's melody and harmonies, and are completely on board with the lyrics, there may be no human action more powerful than singing. But as I seem to have done for decades, it is also possible to go on auto-pilot and sing comfortable old tunes (or even complex service music) without completely believing or liking the lyrics (or possibly, vice versa). This discrepancy is energetically problematic...there is a moment where it may be absolutely necessary to find alignment, or stop singing the songs, or go "off the tracks". There is a moment where silence is preferable to the old song, and eventually you have the freedom to compose a new song, with new lyrics.
One of my favorite films of all time is "Educating Rita" (1983). At a crucial moment, Rita is trying to join in with some singing at the pub, but can barely do it. Her mother, next to her, is crying. When Rita asks why, her mother says, "There must be better songs to sing than this." For both women, the old song is no longer bearable. An old life is over. The old way of doing things doesn't work. They've sung the old song one too many times, and just cannot do it any more.
It's hard, not having a new song ready to roll. My whole life seems to have been spent in this kind of limbo. And as a singer, not singing has been torture. Not having quite the right song (literal or metaphorical) for my emerging spirit's expression has been torture. But when you keep singing the old songs on auto-pilot, the problem is that it's impossible to hear the authentic song of Nature, the song of the Goddess, coming back in our direction. I think She is singing new music for our benefit, new higher expressions of music to resonate and harmonize with. Staying mostly silent this holiday season may help me to hear these songs more clearly. As I release the habit of singing the old songs, I hope I'll gradually start to sing the new songs.
