This is a hard morning to approach Goddess words, because so many of the terms on my list are on a high spiritual energy wavelength, and overall, this morning, I am not. I couldn't get to sleep last night for hours (a more "usual" problem for me is falling asleep immediately, but waking up in the middle of the night and not getting back to sleep). There's always bounceback from my deep epiphanies, and I guess after my "step forward" post the other day, a "step backward" could have been expected -- plus, this week I am spending a few days doing something old in a new way (see my last post). I think part of what kept me up in the night is trying to envision acting from a higher, purer place. It sounds great on paper, but the logistics and reality are another story!
So this morning, when I scanned over my original list of words, most of them (whether I have already written about them or not) seemed completely insurmountable. Too much to deal with, much as I wish to add to the foundations of a more Goddess-centered world...until I came to the simple word, "bake". Aha, I thought. A word I might be able to face today.
Some background. I don't quite remember when baking became important to me. My Schenectady grandmother was quite a good baker, although her daughter, my mother, was not, or at least she had zero interest in it. When Mom baked, it was from a mix. But on and off over the years, I've baked pies, especially in the fall, when I could use fresh local apples. That experience was catalyzed when a Duluth friend shared her pie crust recipe with me, using equal parts shortening and butter. I finally became a confident pie baker. (You may wish to go back to my December 8, 2017 post, "Baking Required".) I'm one of those people who sees a piece of fruit and thinks, great, what kind of pie, or bread, or crumble can I make from that?! (Or, can I paint a still life in oils?!) From 2021 to 2024, I added cookies to my repertoire in a serious way, making weekly batches which I hand-delivered to two Duluth shelters. Since coming back east, baking has become a bit more hit-or-miss again, but fresh ingredients still draw me -- yesterday, I made a crumble with fresh rhubarb, fresh frozen raspberries, and a leftover apple. Pretty tart, but yummy. I guess it is no surprise that I love to watch the "Great British Baking Show".
So what is the association with the Goddess? When I wrote this list, what was I thinking? Well, part of it must literally run deep. Almost all definitions of "baking" refer to cooking in the heat of an oven. And even though I never became pregnant in this lifetime, I am still very aware that all of us women are, in effect, ovens, potentially the place where new life "bakes". Earth herself is an oven, hot at her core, baking things that we have never seen and perhaps never will. And even though many modern ovens have glass windows in the front, there is always a bit of a mystery to the process, especially when you bake bread, Yorkshire pudding, or another item that might sink if the door opens. There is that hint of suspense -- how will it turn out? Is it baking properly? Is it rising?
Baking is an activity that virtually every woman alive has taken part in, and most women through history. (The only exception I can think of are the very rich, who are cooked and baked for, and I feel sorry for their loss!) It is creation. It is nourishment. It is love. It is for the good of the world. Apart from every other way in which stripping women of homes, food supplies, and kitchens is immoral, is depriving them of a place to cook and bake. I've experienced this in a relatively minor, nonviolent way in my vagabond life, but still, I know the frustration of not having your own cooking space, your own spice rack, your own bowls and spoons and cake pans easily at hand. Being uprooted deprives us of one of our most powerful ways of rooting, creating food for loved ones. I believe the Goddess cares about this, and is saddened by all the myriad ways that we have been lured away from doing our own baking and cooking from scratch, in community and for community.
I can only ever guess at the importance of my Goddess words to the Goddess herself, but I am proud to add them here as a definition of me. Right up there with "I am devoted to the Goddess", "I am a mystic", "I am a musician", "I am a thinker", "I am a lover", "I am a writer", "I am an artist", "I am an Aquarius", is -- "I am a baker". I think a new paradigm is currently in the oven; I smell its lovely aroma and see it rising. It won't be long now until it is born, sprung from the oven.
