The ups and downs of the last few weeks have been the catalyst for the urge to take this "Goddess thing" a step further. This is a good thing. I mean, the urge has been there for several years, but the pandemic and post-pandemic time led into the "leave Duluth" time, and these things were, well, distractions, if the truth be known. And while a renewed impulse to move on is in place again, I realize that there is an even stronger imperative -- the need to do more than simply write about the Goddess in this blog. I'm about to do a weeklong "retreat", and my purpose? To brainstorm even the most unlikely possible new scenarios. (I have to come up with a better word than "retreat". I mean, when I'm on retreat, I am basically returning to me. Maybe each time I go on retreat I am going home.)
So there have been a few slightly wacky ideas in my head for a while, pushed back by my inner "conventional girl". (Hmm...funny that the word "convent" is in there, given my anchoress tendencies!) I mean, I've been many things, but I've never been weird. I wasn't a hippie, I never took drugs. I've always dressed conservatively or boringly (albeit often in hand-me-downs). For a relatively short time when I was trying to make money as an artist and art teacher, I tried to look the artsy/New Age part, but it never really "took", except for my earrings, which remain rather distinctive. To do anything that might draw too much critical attention to me continues to be hard to consider, even after a decade of writing this blog.
Among the things I am throwing into the brainstorming mix are:
- Dressing more like the Goddess every day...what would that look like? Probably focusing on a single color, like various shades of blue and teal, wearing more silver jewelry, getting dressed in the morning intending to be Her representative and making sure my looks count more. I probably spoke about this years ago, but it still hasn't happened
- Walking across country (well, OK, with my feet, it might have to be travel by buses or trains) leaving hand-written notes from the Goddess wherever I go, and speaking about Her when someone asks me
- Beginning to do videos instead of or in addition to these written posts. I've thought about this for a while, but never got up the nerve
- Creating a huge sculpture of the Goddess. Again, this has been in my mind for years, but not owning property, there has been the tricky question of "where?" Ultimately, because I don't believe there's any property that isn't hers, this is a false roadblock
- Literally becoming an anchoress for the Goddess, if I could find someone to be my support system. An oracle-in-place. People would hear about me by word of mouth and come to speak with me in person.
