The whole idea of a retreat is to unplug. Heck, even under normal conditions, I'm less plugged in than the average American -- but it was good to spend about 24 hours with public radio news turned off. While there is a certain early morning hour where I frequently hear national news, extended local news and weather, and -- yes! -- a star report (astronomy, not astrology), I was reminded that this is more than enough for me every day. After the silence, this morning's news seemed particularly shocking and rife with "non-Love". Had I rapidly become sensitized, or was the news actively less Love-filled? I don't know. Maybe both. But there is no question -- even a person of high spiritual intelligence becomes more numb after every encounter with the headlines. Finding that right level of exposure (where I feel up-to-date without sliding into anger or hopelessness) is challenging.
What grew in the unplugged silence? A surprising level of acceptance of my personal "goodness", joy, and inner unity. Putting it this way sounds bizarre, I know. Yet as someone who is aware of having been pushed back by the time I was in the womb, chronically teased for being "holier-than-thou", and derided for my inability to "get with the program", I have swallowed a lot of self-hatred over the years. Most of us assume it is only people who aren't good enough who are weighed down with self-abhorrence, but believe me (as I think I've written before), the opposite can be true. Beings who cannot love loathe Love, Goodness, Joy, Beauty and Harmony. Those of us who represent these qualities are often oppressed/pressed down along with other populations. And we squelch it within our own selves when we are around others -- so as not to seem "holier than thou". What a ridiculous vicious cycle! To have a few days where I can fully accept -- even embrace -- my own inner goodness -- is valuable beyond belief.
This morning I did a little happy jig around the living room of my retreat house! (I can assure you, this is new!) The Goddess's return calls for a celebratory unveiling of all our bright lights. This light is guiding Her back to us just as we are being led to the heart of Her. The "dawning of the age of Aquarius" also calls for joyful celebration. (Non-Love will simply fizzle out. That will be news worth plugging in to!)
