And so, that’s the topic. An online popularized version of the
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator was sent to me a few days ago. Initially, I thought, why take this
again? I’ve done it several times, and
always get the same result – Introvert and Extravert almost equal 50-50,
Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving. But I
had never done an online version of this, and while it wasn’t the official Myers-Briggs
assessment, I tried it. Nothing has
changed over the years, except one thing.
On this particular assessment, my “intuitive” score was 85, and my “sensing”
one a mere 15. I’ve seen so many
different wordings of what this means, but I think what it basically reveals is
my natural tendency to address the world via my inner guidance rather than via
what I am seeing and experiencing on the outside. I spent most of the day yesterday trying to
take in what it means to operate that intuitively.
I mean, it didn’t surprise me. Almost everything I do really well, I do
quickly and intuitively, and usually without instructions. Mix colors/paint. Sight read music, harmonize, or sing along
with music I have never heard before. Cook with no recipe. Create needlework
and other crafts without patterns. Writing this blog is highly intuitive. Back
when I was at Smith, I practiced about an hour a day for my senior organ
recital, while friends were practicing hours and hours. The recital went brilliantly. When I follow my intuition and values,
timings can work out almost magically; the downside is that such a journey may
appear disorderly, even chaotic, to some, and routines and structures easily
become boring for me. My way of functioning is
that, when I reach a crossroad, I decide on the next step based on my gut
feeling of what would lead to the deepest learning experience. Almost inevitably, when people suggest that I “get
serious and work on a life plan,” I burst into tears. The suggestion is so contrary to my way of
operating, it causes me physical pain.
However, I understand that the reverse is also true, that my way of operating causes many people
at the least, perplexity and irritation. Our culture is based on a slow, step-by-step,
goal-oriented and institutionalized model, one that is almost literally
impossible for some of us. Intuitive and
introverted people can easily become hermits in order to escape this paradigm, a
path that even tempts me from time to time.
So at this particular crossroad, what do I “do” with
finding out that my intuitive side is potentially even stronger than I
thought? Life coaches say to work with your strengths, not at cross
purposes to them. I know that even
though I have largely operated in alignment with my strengths, I’ve also carried
a huge amount of shame, assuming that being me was “wrong.” Ridiculous. Unsuccessful.
I mean, it has often seemed to be all those things. I can see why I have often tried to undo my
own natural leanings.
However, all of the 16 Myers Briggs “types” are
considered equally valid, and I have to assume that the answer now, more than
ever, as I have been concluding for months, is to be more fully me. Look
within for guidance more and more.
Follow my intuitive leadings more quickly.
Love and respect that inner wisdom, and operate from it ever more fully. As an introvert, spend as much time as
possible alone, thinking, writing, researching, creating – then attend that
cocktail party or art opening, or communal music making experience, and lead by
example. Let my extravert out from time to time. Feel my feelings and express
my perspective on the human condition, and, as a “P,” stay open and
flexible. Love myself and the way I am, and
stop fighting her. I am the way I am for
a reason, as we all are!
I needed to "buck myself up" today for a reason...my next blog will be on my favorite topic and greatest challenge, money. If I announce that to you today, I cannot chicken out!
