For the past thirty years or more, King’s College,
Cambridge has commissioned a new carol to be sung at its Christmas Eve service,
which is broadcast on public radio in the US.
This year’s, by Richard Causton with words by George Szirtes (who came
to Britain many years ago as a refugee), is incredibly powerful but may not
become a crowd favorite. Even for me,
who was basically taught 12-tone theory and composition at Smith instead of
traditional music theory, the piece was somewhat hard to listen to, both
musically and in terms of the words, which explored the parallel between the
biblical story of “no room at the inn” and the current refugee crisis. The musical setting was at times atonal,
almost a musical cry for help. I can’t
help but think that it might resonate not only with refugees, but also with
others of us who are “homeless” for other reasons. The refrain:
"May
those who travel light
Find
shelter on the flight"
Christmas has almost always found me far from
home. Only twice in my life (Christmas
of 1980, when I was studying for my MMus at the University of London, and last
Christmas, 2014) have I been in the country that I consider home. Sometimes I think I’ll never understand why
it has been so very hard to find my way there permanently. When I try to channel my highest self,
the answer seems to be that there was a life lesson I could not have learned
any other way. If it’s the lesson I
think it is, I’m finally making sense of it.
I also think in the past I believed
it would be hard, and so the law of attraction responded by making it hard.
I know one thing. Once I get back there and have a home
of my own, I intend to create a guest space so that I can periodically welcome
other mystics or spiritual seekers to spend time with me. They will have full access to all my spiritual
books, my art supplies and my kitchen.
I’ll take them around to cathedrals or abbeys or historical spots – or
leave them to their own devices while they birth their own challenging yet important callings. Yes, at times over the years I have
experienced “no room at the inn,” and it has been devastating. The shriek-y sounds in that carol resonated
because I have felt that same painful despair. But often, most recently at several stops
between last Christmas and this Christmas, strangers or friends have been astonishingly
generous and welcoming. I have been at the receiving end of unconditional love
and uncritical acceptance, and learned what it feels like to be welcomed with
open arms. Such a gift! I am so thankful! Having finally embraced that I am a mystic, I
realize how crucial it is for people like me to be in the kind of welcoming,
safe, silent setting that promotes
intense spiritual growth. My dear friends have taught me well, and now I yearn
to return the favor, to be the one with a temporary home base to offer other
deep seekers.
I think I’m entering kind of a hermitage phase of my
life, so I don’t plan to open a big retreat center. No, this will be a “monastery” with room for
just one or two wandering mystics at a time, while I continue to love, write,
research, paint and sing. (There seems to be a grand oeuvre percolating.) How I’ll find the right people or
they’ll find me, I don’t know yet. But
somehow, law of attraction will do its work, and there will be room at the inn.
