One of the curious aspects of the Liz path is that I (whose worldly possessions would fit pretty nicely into a small closet) have recently helped several people move from one house to another. For a few months now, I have helped a friend get her house ready to go on the market, and now we are in the home stretch of actively boxing things up. It is a huge, huge job.
Fortunately, I have excellent boundaries and simply follow instructions ("Could you box up everything on that shelf, please?") My impulse to own next to nothing is so acute, that it can be a form of torture not to throw things out or take them to the Salvation Army. I keep having to remind myself that, for most people in first and second world countries, ownership is normal. Single people or couples owning houses- or apartments-full of possessions, including furniture, is normal. On occasion, even I have done it. But it just was never sustainable for me. Trying to maintain stability on my own, without a compelling job, sense of self, or adequate income, just proved impossible.
And somehow I came to believe that I was so alone in the Universe that I would physically need to carry anything I owned. I look at piles and piles of boxes, at couches and tables and dressers, and I swoon from the physical exhaustion of imagining how heavy it would be to carry. It's like, earth to Liz, that's why people created moving companies! Big strong men with dollies will move possessions for you. There is help out there if you are in a position to pay for it, and sometimes even free from friends. No one on the planet would own anything if they had to physically carry it all themselves, unassisted!
Most of my sixty-something friends are paring, or have pared, way back from where they were a few years ago, when children were still at home, or before divorce or the death of a spouse. Many of my friends seem to have elderly parents still hanging on for dear life to a lifetime of possessions, which is causing a backlash in my generation. A few of my friends have even expressed that they are envious of me, or inspired by my freedom from possessions. I'm honored, but I try to tell them to be a bit careful on this path. There is a fine line between "paring down to the essential you" and "going too far and eradicating yourself." We are not our possessions. But our possessions do reflect our beliefs about who we are and our worthiness to take up space on the planet. If you look in the "mirror" of "things" and there is nothing there that appeals, you may be going through such a huge change that you will want to seek some sympathetic counseling or coaching, as I have sometimes done. Thankfully, life assistance comes in many, many forms.
So while friends are going smaller, I am bucking the trend and trying to go bigger. For me this will never be about consumerism per se. And I could never have a "home" that reflected values too far from my core. It's still not clear whether I will live in a studio apartment or a manor house. But whatever the space, it will be filled with antiques, select fine art, music, and books, lots of books. Books on English history, English music (history, anthems, carols, etc.), spirituality and religion, art and philosophy. I've had to do a considerable amount of "homework" to remember who I am. Now that I have, I'm ready for a home. Helping other people move has helped me begin to understand the value of "things" -- and to understand that everyone needs help moving forward!
