This is a Wednesday that I surely will look back on, as a doorway, a portal. Dates that are elevens and twenty-twos always seem that way to me anyway (today is August 11) but I had a major realization in the middle of the night. I won't go into the details yet because I'm still making sense of it.
But in a more general way, it all has to do with fully accepting myself. And oddly, it's never been about coming to terms with having done something wildly negative (physically hurting someone, killing someone, cheating, stealing, or so forth). The parts of me that I have not wanted to "own" have been my strengths and positive attributes, what our culture now calls "my superpowers" (I love the term). I have collaborated in my own silencing and my own being made invisible, on an almost epic level. I have reached a new level of understanding on that score, and am really stunned. Perhaps it's a good thing (to use yesterday's card reading and metaphor) that someone else is steering the boat right now, and that I am in the position to simply be a passenger. I'm fairly sure my arm would be shaking at the tiller, and that the boat would be going all over the water.
The gift of this particular Wednesday is true acceptance, the realization that I cannot possibly move backwards and do anything differently. I can only walk through the portal of August 11, 2021 and, with new insight, experience where the path leads me now. I am a different person than I was even a week ago.
