On Sunday, I took step two in this unfolding new leg of my saga, and am very thankful that there's a "there" there. I did want to mention that it looks like I will, have to access the computer at the library for the time being, so this blog won't be quite as regular as it has been for several weeks. Writing is like breathing for me, though, and I'll do my best at least to keep to two-to-three times a week.
Since Sunday, I've had this on my mind a propos what I spoke of the other day: I understand that most of my friends and acquaintances have had to work extremely hard to make it possible to own homes, cars, and all the extras of American life. I look on them, and most of our culture, with wonder: how do they do it so successfully? For many of them, it hasn't been easy, and I could never have lived with myself if I had just tried to use people -- I cringe knowing there may be some people who see my life in that light. And undoubtedly if I had had children, I would have put aside my spiritual values and my Quixotic effort to get to England to sing choral evensong. But once I saw how "the harder I worked, the less well I did", I eventually got the message that I had some strange different path ahead of me, and, well, I've followed it. By rights, I should not have made it to age 68, but through the miracles of love, friends, the Goddess, and a rod of iron down my spine, I'm still here. The wonder of that is hitting me now more than ever. (I also have to remember that for anyone, the option could be to say, "The heck with this, I'm doing it my way." I'm kind of a cautionary tale about what that leads to!)
This week, this is the cutting edge I am poised on...keeping in my heart the image of me on a stage, speaking to people about Goddess spirituality, while staying grounded in the present and trying to see the light beckoning from the future. I'm your resident angel, poised on the head of a pin! My success at this changes hour to hour, but, yes, I'm still here. I hope you are too.
