Good morning!
This morning, I discovered some online interviews/podcasts by Elizabeth Gilbert (www.elizabethgilbert.com) called Magic Lessons. The one I happened to listen to was an interview with author Brene Brown on the topic of creativity, and it was one of the most exciting half hours of my life. So much wisdom was spoken by these two women in such a short span of time, I can't begin to relate it all, so I just recommend it highly. The line I loved most, perhaps, was when Brown said something to the effect where even five years ago, she pooh-poohed creativity, telling friends to go ahead and do A-R-T but she had to do her J-O-B. But since then, she has had a radical turnaround where she believes that expressing creativity is absolutely central and crucial to every human being, even those who haven't considered themselves as creators. I now need to read books by both women.
I find myself, as I started to allude the other day, in the midst of what can only be called a major creative experiment of my own. Well, living life as an experiment started five years ago, but right now, I am throwing my full focus and energy into it in a way I wasn't quite ready to do before.
Early in 2015, I attempted to start writing the story of my life, and it got bogged down for several reasons, not only the sense of discomfort I felt in wading around in the past, the impatience I felt with what felt like an old-fashioned process, and my brother's death, but also in finding a new (and wonderful) temporary home. By fall, I realized that I wasn't going to be writing an autobiography in the traditional sense after all, at least not now.
What I started the other day is rather an extreme version of what I believe Abraham-Hicks calls "telling your new story." It is, in effect, a journal of my future. I'm not going to go into the details here yet, but just suffice it to say that I am stunned by how fully and realistically -- perhaps as a result of a lifetime of longing! -- I can describe this ideal daily life. I am supporting it (good Smithie that I am) with facts, in the sense that I'm researching online as many of the details as I can -- the hours of choral evensong services, the dates of concerts I wish to attend, and networking and work/writing/research possibilities, etc. Mind you, I'm not actively applying for jobs or buying concert tickets...for now, I am just writing some of these details into my account for each day in my ideal near future.
I've always had such a sense of loss/bittersweet frustration around my dream in the past, such a sense that "there was no future to it," and this exercise has totally turned that around. My dream, for the first time ever, feels joyful, fun, satisfying and real. Dream isn't really the right word, I don't think. I think the right word is "reality in which I can be creative to the optimum extent in this lifetime." "Dream" is a word too easily ridiculed and marginalized, as is, perhaps, "creativity." And yet our world would not exist without dreams or creativity. Our next steps wouldn't exist. The most cutting edge technologies wouldn't exist.
This "go big or go home" experiment is literally about creating a life, a real life of doing one's real work, by being there before it happens, by feeling the happiness before the "reality" is in front of me. By probably early April, I'll see if this use of my time was successful or not, because it feels like a reality that will materialize quickly. If it does, my dear readers will have been in at the inception -- and my book will be all-but-written, and I might be doing podcasts too! I guarantee I will keep you posted.
