People are saying that the only antidote to these developments is to respond, to do something to counter the insanity. And yet sometimes I feel like my whole life has been an inner or outer response/reaction to others' lack of humanity, and I am exhausted. As if I would knowingly be cruel to anyone. As if I would kill another person. As if I would want to hold another person in slavery, have power over them, or eradicate their humanity or God-given inner power. As if I would disallow a qualified person from any position based on gender, origin or other superficial factor. As if I would ever want to profit unduly when others were losing. As if I would ever claim one acre of Mother Earth as my personal property. As if, as if, as if...Since I have no compulsion to do these things, is it really my only option to spend one more minute of my increasingly short lifespan reacting? I keep going back to this topic because it is so hard to find or focus on my personal, genuine, active passions right now, things that have nothing to do with others' misdeeds. Not surprisingly, these people are sucking all of the oxygen out of the room. It takes all my energy just to keep breathing.
I wrote most of this essay in the middle of the night, and I could not sleep at all, a testament to how thoroughly this time is unsettling me and, I am sure, countless others. I pulled an oracle card to help keep me going today, and got "Dawn: New Beginnings." It certainly is a new beginning. Earlier this year I played around with the metaphor of the boat going through a lock into a new, higher stretch of river. I'm beginning to think that I inadvertently touched on a theme applicable to the whole world, not just to me. Maybe these so-called strongmen, still thinking that the old rules apply, are having a fit because the lock gates have closed on them and boats are sailing into the new stretch of river without them. It helps me to realize that as loud as the clamor is right now, as my boat continues to head downstream, the screams of pain, self-righteousness and outrage will become less and less audible. It is a new beginning on a river of love. Ultimately, those who lack a measure of kindness and caring for others will simply not make it in this new landscape. They are not energetically compatible, not as they are now. I just have to hold firmly to the tiller of my own little boat and encourage my dear friends and kindred spirits to do the same in theirs. Find whatever oxygen you can find. Breathe. Keep your boat upright. And keep going, a day at a time.
