I thought back to the worst year of my life, and the worst day of that worst year, when I felt I had two impossible choices in front of me, declaring bankruptcy, or hiking west into the Adirondacks and sitting under a tree to wait for large animals to eat me. Joy was a concept that was so far out of my picture, I don't think I could have uttered the word. And yet that very day, an angel friend shepherded me away from the hike into the wilderness, and by the end of the week, I had received an invitation to a US concert by "my" English choir, Royal Holloway. That was the return, if not to stability, at least to remembering what brings me joy.
One month ago today, we all experienced a watershed moment, one that will continue to resonate down the years. Many of us were completely drained of our joy and optimism. I'd say that a good 90% of the time these last four weeks, that sense of bewilderment and emptiness has persisted in me. And yet...there have been moments of intense personal joy, as well as indications that positive, uplifting, and beautiful events are happening in the world, possibly with as much momentum as the negative.
So this is what I'll add to yesterday's list. "I am learning not to forget joy." Joy. Beauty. Goodness. Love. They shouldn't be an afterthought. They are life's essence. Note to self...
