I'm back, both to the blog and Duluth, but for the latter, only temporarily. I went to The Cities (Minnesota-speak for Minneapolis-St. Paul) for two days, and will return there by the end of the week for further discernment about a living situation that has the potential for enormous growth. For some reason, the days leading up to the Fourth of July are often catalytic.
Although I have been a city girl (DC, New York City, London), city energy is now actually a bit challenging after nearly a year-and-a-half of COVID restrictions. Small amounts of crowd stimulation tire me. Ultimately, I'm not returning to a city for the sake of the usual qualities of excitement and opportunity. It is to live more intentionally in a small community, to find a higher independence/cooperation balance.
A few weeks ago, I articulated for myself the "perfect" living situation. I am an anchoress living in a small apartment attached to one of the English cathedrals. It would not be sealed up; there would be a door into the cathedral so that I could attend choral evensong every single afternoon. The balance of the day, I would explore in writing and art the path from our current world and the religious/musical construct I grew up in (Episcopalianism/Church of England) to the future. I would often sit outside in the cathedral close, and welcome the opportunity to chat with visitors about their spiritual questions and concerns. It's hard to imagine church officials saying yes to this American goddess-centered anchoress, but in a time so completely fluid and surprising, perhaps it is not completely out of the question...(!)
In any event, my potential new home reminds me qualitatively of this model, which is why it draws me. What also draws me is remaining independent, while feeling less alone. Human independence is really such a mirage, isn't it? In coming months, may I become more appreciative of the intricate interconnected web of life that I am a part of. May I never close the doors and hide behind them.
