Well, I did it. I watched the concluding episodes of Pride and Prejudice, then Sense and Sensibility, and late in the evening, Miss Austen Regrets. My senses were bathed the kind of beauty I love, a 19th c. pace of life, and, yes, romance, however fictional. My eyes were not assaulted by tacky ads, there was no gritty realism and there was virtually no violence. I saw no plastic, smelled no vile exhaust fumes, was sold nothing and paid for nothing. I saw no strip malls, big box stores, traffic jams. There was no one around to call me "unrealistic". No one was there to shame me into hiding my preferences.
I thought a few times over the course of the day about the Goddess, as in, what on earth does this have to do with Her? I associate beauty with the Goddess, so from that standpoint, the day had a Goddess quality. I also thought quite a bit about the word "sovereignty". Even today, we women have so little sovereignty over our lives, our days. So to inhabit a world that I choose, just for one day, to yell a huge "YES" up to the Universe, to say, "This is ME!" and not worry about someone pushing back...that freedom was divinely feminine.
Lastly, I do believe the Goddess wants women to know the truth of who they are, whatever that is. We are vibrational beings, and when we feel joyous and happy and in our element, we are vibrating on the same wavelength as what we are experiencing. Learning to trust that joy, the moment when we know we are exulting in "yes, yes, yes" rather than "no, no, no", takes years. In my case, it has taken over six decades, and over five hundred blog posts!
I actually had to look up the word "stately". It means, dignified, imposing, grand, magnificent. Which means, I resonate with -- and perhaps am -- dignified, imposing, grand, and magnificent. Which explains, of course, why I am so miserable when I am in so many other kinds of settings. Other realities are not wrong, just wrong for me.
So whatever this next year brings, and however long it takes me to return to the UK, I've decided my first step will be a stay at one of those stately homes. And until then, may I start each day with the mantra, "dignified, imposing, grand and magnificent." May they be the four walls of my permanent home, and may I allow myself to fully embrace these qualities, lovingly.
