Today, I took one step away from what has been a secure nest for three years. In a sense, it may have been the first secure nest I've had (for that stretch of time) for most of my life. To call it wrenching is such an understatement. And looking at the woebegone face of the house kitty cat was the worst.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry that the thing I'm perseverating about is that I slightly under-tipped my taxi driver, who even helped me with bags. Out here, I don't think everyone tips the drivers, and I always do, but I kind of choked up when the total fare was a little less than I had expected. To start out what may be a very uncertain journey being less than generous isn't the best "step one", but at least I realized it almost immediately. Now I need to let that one go, somehow!
My exhaustion is so intense, made worse by not quite knowing where this is all headed. And knowing that the words that I must start saying as a representative of the Goddess are going to be loving, truthful -- but sometimes very hard! Where are my kindred spirits? Where is shelter for this truth-speaker? Who will welcome this powerful energy? I guess the first step is that I have finally, finally embraced myself!
I've put my self-portrait collage in a prominent spot in this weekend nest, and hope that She -- my highest self -- will continue to inspire and protect. And may I remember that if I can somehow navigate all this disorientation now, perhaps I can help others get through it in the future.
