The last few days, I haven't been able to stop thinking about Jesus's admonition (Matthew 5:39 and Luke 6:28-29) to "turn the other cheek" when someone treats you poorly. I am sure I heard this first as a child at church, and it must have been presented in such a way that I envisioned what I still envision -- a playground bully hitting you in the face, and turning your face 90 degrees or so, so he (or she) can do it again. I can only imagine that there are dozens, if not hundreds or thousands, of PhD dissertations on this, perhaps even as many sermons and books. What did Jesus mean here? That we literally let ourselves be pummeled by our adversaries? (For women, this has a particular horror.)
I am fortunate in that I have never experienced this kind of physical attack. I was once attacked from behind on the street by someone trying to steal my purse. I didn't see who did it, and yet my instinct was quite the reverse; my arm clamped down on the handbag as I resisted its theft. The police later told me that this was not a good idea, that I should have just let go.
But I certainly have been at the receiving end of verbal "attacks"/unwarranted criticism/condescension, as have most humans, and I'm embarrassed to say that in the past I haven't handled it well. As I think I may have said in a very early post, I have usually burst into tears and left the room (or closed the e-mail.) Sometimes anger eventually got me all riled up, only the moment was lost or my belated arguments no longer had much traction. It's not so much a thin skin, I don't think, as much as not liking conflict of any kind. It quite literally pains me when people are at odds with each other and I don't want to "go" there. I have strengthened up in recent years and can hold my own somewhat better, but this biblical saying stays with me. The question remains, if you are not spiritually attuned to returning violence for violence, and you don't want to run crying from the proverbial room, what is the third way?
There is an aspect to this metaphor that I've never heard discussed, and that is this: if you turn your head so that one or the other cheek is facing forward, that means that your eyes are facing well away from your attacker. You are literally no longer honoring this person with your gaze. You cannot "see" them, you are not acknowledging their presence. You are looking at a landscape where there is no conflict. Metaphysically, you may be starting the process of creating a world where there is no conflict, where these things do not happen. Is it in that sense a moment of active creative power?
